


And You Thought Everything Would Stay The Same

by Quettaser



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Pining, oh no the maknae got hot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:56:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21828475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quettaser/pseuds/Quettaser
Summary: Donghun takes the shirt with him on the tour. Yuchan teases him every time he wears it and then begs for something - ice cream, chips, a soda - from Donghun in return for his “generosity.” Donghun pretends to argue every time, eventually caving whenever Yuchan gives up and is about to wander away. He likes it, the fun joke they have that makes Sehyoon roll his eyes and put his earbuds in.
Relationships: Kang Yuchan | Chan/Lee Donghun
Comments: 21
Kudos: 120
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	And You Thought Everything Would Stay The Same

**Author's Note:**

  * For [natacup82](https://archiveofourown.org/users/natacup82/gifts).

> I loved writing this! Thank you for the great prompts.
> 
> Thank you to E for the beta and listening to me whine and HB for the canon backup. Title from St. Lucia - Winds of Change. Locked because I don't trust KBK.

It’s still hot in the dorm when they finally get word that Yuchan will be moving back for good. But it doesn’t feel real until Donghun and Sehyoon are hauling junk with their manager out of Yuchan’s supposedly empty room. While he was gone with UNB, they’d ended up using the room as storage. Summer has already passed but the sweltering heat hasn’t left and Donghun is sweating through his shirt as he packs and carries boxes. Donghun has lugged at least four full trashbags down the stairs himself before they unearth Yuchan’s room from the piles of fan gifts and other assorted crap they’ve managed to collect over the last few months.

Donghun doesn’t think much of it when he grabs one of Yuchan’s shirts from his closet to change into after he showers. He’s still wearing it later when they video call Yuchan to show him his freshly cleaned room.

Except Junhee’s giving the tour like he helped so Donghun switches to the front-facing camera on his phone while Sehyoon pretends to shove Junhee into a corner. 

“Don’t listen to him. He didn’t help at all,” Donghun tells Yuchan, who looks delighted by the escalating chaos. “Do you know how many trash bags I carried? Four.”

“Hyung,” Yuchan tries to interrupt through his laughter.

“Four!” Donghun continues. “Are we animals? Be honest.”

“Hyung, wait.”

“Is that normal for four people to make that much garbage? It wasn’t even gross, it was just so much-”

“Hyung!” Yuchan yells this time, getting Donghun to shut up. “Is that one of my shirts?” He looks more perplexed than offended.

“Ahh,” Donghun says dismissively, sucking in air through his teeth. “You left it here. Do you really care that much about it?” He shrugs and flips the camera back again so that Yuchan doesn’t see him crack a smile. Then Byeongkwan takes his phone from him so Yuchan’s whining “Hyung,” isn’t Donghun’s problem any more.

Yuchan moves back into the dorm for good and everything gets hectic. They prep for their fan-con and a tour and it feels like no time has passed before it’s Christmas. They all expect to go right into comeback prep but then it doesn’t happen. And doesn’t happen. And then another leg of the tour gets scheduled for February and March and comeback prep still doesn’t happen.

It’s hard on all of them. Donghun can see that all the members are pushing hard through practices, learning covers they aren’t going to post and vocal lessons that feel like going through the motions. Meetings with CEO Kim are tense for everyone, the lack of good news stifling the mood. Donghun knows his frustrations aren’t directed at her, but at their situation. That they work so hard, are so talented and can’t get a firm foothold in the industry. Group chats with his other idol friends feel bittersweet.

It’s been months and they have Yuchan back, they should be running headfirst into new music. But they’re stuck waiting instead. They relish the chance to see fans at a few festival appearances but it never feels like enough. It makes Donghun moody and he spends too much time on his bed, pouting at his phone. He feels bad when he cries on calls with his parents. Things aren’t as bad as they used to be, when he was considering giving up this work for good, but the uncertainty eats at him. 

Yuchan finds him like that once, sniffling post-parent phone call and a group chat with some of his idol friends making his phone buzz non-stop. Donghun doesn’t even look up from his bunk when he hears the door open.

“Hyung, I’m just grabbing your…” Yuchan trails off. Donghun can’t see Yuchan until he walks over to stand in front of the bunk.

Donghun thinks about hiding his face in his pillow but makes a vague, “Hmm?” sound instead.  
It’s fine if Yuchan sees him like this. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Yuchan looks at him and sighs, reaching over the side of the bunk to rub at the back of Donghun’s neck. “Aish, my crybaby hyung.” He tuts and wipes at Donghun’s face, even though Donghun has already stopped crying. Then he cradles Donghun’s head between his hands and just holds it, resting against Donghun’s pillow.

“What?” Donghun asks, knowing he sounds indignant and his pout is reflexive.

“When was the last time you ate?” Yuchan asks, fingers idly rubbing at Donghun’s scalp. Donghun can already feel himself start to relax. He feels foolish, even though the members rarely tease him when he cries. It’s just sometimes overwhelming, the speed at which his emotions flare up, leaving him wrung out and exhausted. What was he even crying for, really?

“Get up and eat,” Yuchan is saying. “You won’t feel better if you have an empty stomach.” He moves his hands from Donghun’s head and pokes at his cheek instead. “Donghun-ah.”

“Brat!” Donghun shouts, sitting up to lunge at Yuchan, but he steps back, out of Donghun’s reach. He’s laughing, the menace. It’s like a hard reset of Donghun’s mood, the way he’s now entirely focused on getting revenge.

But Yuchan softens again, daring to come close again and enduring Donghun’s swats at his upper body. “Whatever it is, hyung, it’ll be okay.” He grabs Donghun’s wrist, both a comfort and a preventative measure. “We’ll get through it. We always do.” He looks so earnest and assured. Confident.

Donghun laughs to stop himself from crying again. He can feel the tears welling again at the corners of his eyes and shakes his head to clear them away. Yuchan’s right, he should get up and eat. He wrenches his arm free and smacks Yuchan’s shoulder a few more times before climbing out of his bed and wrapping himself around Yuchan, demanding an apology. Yuchan drags them both out of the room, promising he’ll make some ramen.

Donghun envies Yuchan’s bottomless well of optimism until he’s reminded that it isn’t something that really exists. He finds Yuchan in the dance studio late one night, sunrise less than an hour away. Even Byeongkwan had left, but Yuchan’s still there, towel hanging over his head as he sits on the floor, clearly exhausted.

“Time to go home,” Donghun says, keeping his voice soft.

Yuchan grumbles and rubs the towel over his head but doesn’t get up. Donghun walks over and puts his bag down to squat in front of him. Yuchan tips forward, bumping his head into Donghun’s knees. Donghun has to brace himself to keep his balance.

“What happened?” Donghun thinks he could count the knobs of Yuchan’s spine through his sweat-soaked shirt. When Yuchan doesn’t answer, he rubs a hand on his back, feeling the bumps of bone. It’s a few long, quiet minutes before Yuchan finally sits up, towel falling off of his head.

He looks so tired. 

His hair and shirt stick to his skin, damp with sweat. Donghun takes a water bottle from his bag and hands it to Yuchan who takes it but doesn’t drink. Huffing, Donghun takes the bottle back and opens it. He holds the bottle up to Yuchan’s face and smacks his thigh, telling him to drink. That stirs Yuchan enough that his hand covers Donghun’s on the bottle, tipping it back so Yuchan can take a few long gulps of water.

“Bad day?” Donghun asks when Yuchan stops drinking.

Yuchan nods and wipes his mouth. Donghun puts the cap back on the water and puts it to the side. He knows Yuchan struggled with vocal lessons earlier that day. His individual dance session must not have gone much better. All of the members are perfectionists, that’s why they’re so good and why they work well together. But that means not being perfect takes a toll.

“Well, good news, it’s tomorrow now. So your bad day is over.” Donghun tries to sound cheerful, even if he’s also exhausted. “Come on.” He tugs at Yuchan’s wrist but Yuchan won’t let himself be pulled, so he changes tactics. “Your voice won’t be any better if you don’t go home and sleep,” Donghun says, putting on his best scolding hyung voice.

That seems to rouse Yuchan, who raises his arms up to be grabbed and mumbles a hoarse, “Okay.” Donghun pulls him up and helps him gather his things.

They’re leaving the studio when Yuchan says, “Don’t like your ‘I’m mad at you’ voice.” He’s still mumbling, tired and bumping himself into Donghun.

“That’s not my ‘I’m mad at you’ voice,” Donghun says, steadying him with a hand on his lower back. “That’s my ‘Listen to your hyung’ voice.”

Yuchan gives him a skeptical look, piercing through the fog of exhaustion. “Your ‘Listen to your hyung’ voice has more yelling.”

“That’s because I’m always mad you’re not listening.”

Donghun has to wake Yuchan up when they’re back at the dorm, sunlight peeking through the morning clouds. He follows Yuchan as he shuffles around the quiet dorm, making sure he showers and washes his face and brushes his teeth before finally falling into bed in his room.

Yuchan rolls himself into his covers before turning around to look back at Donghun. “Sleep here, hyung.” He pats the bed, eyes already closing again. “Go put on that shirt you stole.”

Donghun sputters, catching himself before he’s too loud, “Why?” He wants answers for both statements.

But Yuchan only answers the second one. “Soft.” He smiles, eyes still closed.

It wouldn’t be the first time they’d shared a bed. And if it helps Yuchan get the rest he needs, then that’s fine, Donghun thinks. So he gets ready for bed too and puts on the shirt and comes back into Yuchan’s room, firmly ignoring the part of him screaming that his is maybe too much.

Donghun lowers himself into the bed, careful not to disturb the already asleep Yuchan. Except maybe he isn’t sleeping, because as soon as Donghun is lying down, Yuchan shuffles and slides his way to lay against Donghun’s side. He curls a hand into the material of the shirt at Donghun’s waist.

“You know, you can take it back, right?” Donghun whispers.

“Hmm?”

“The shirt. Your shirt.”

“Mmm,” is Yuchan’s only reply. They fall asleep like that, Yuchan tucked next to him, snoring and it doesn’t even bother Donghun the way it normally would. He wonders if something’s changed when he wasn’t paying attention.

A few weeks pass and finally they have the meeting they’ve been waiting for. CEO Kim gives them the good news that they’ll be starting comeback prep the moment they’re back in Korea after the tour. 

Donghun takes the shirt with him on the tour. Yuchan teases him every time he wears it and then begs for something - ice cream, chips, a soda - from Donghun in return for his “generosity.” Donghun pretends to argue every time, eventually caving whenever Yuchan gives up and is about to wander away. He likes it, the fun joke they have that makes Sehyoon roll his eyes and put his earbuds in.

And then they’re home again. They’re so excited for new music, new concepts, new choreo that the whirlwind of comeback prep doesn’t feel like work at first. Donghun tries to savor the feeling because he knows in two weeks it will feel like work, but he’ll take that exhaustion over sitting and waiting every time.

Maybe it’s the excitement of listening to new demos that causes Donghun’s lapse in judgement. He just remembers sitting on the floor of his room next to Yuchan and Yuchan’s petting at his back while he scrolls through his phone because Donghun’s wearing the shirt again. They’re trying out vocal parts together, trading lines and trying different deliveries. He harmonizes along with Yuchan for a few lines and it makes Yuchan say, “Wah,” when they’re done and he pats Donghun’s back.

Donghun doesn’t mean for it to happen until it’s already happening. He’s _happy_, faced with Yuchan’s beaming smile, that’s all he can remember feeling before he turns and kisses Yuchan. 

It’s an exaggeration to call it a kiss, because Yuchan makes a startled noise and pulls back almost immediately. That snaps Donghun back to reality. He covers his face and groans, tipping over sideways to lay on the floor. He’s an idiot and an asshole. You’re not supposed to go around kissing your members. That’s just one of those unspoken rules, like do your binge drinking at home and don’t eat your Inkigayo sandwiches too fast.

“Oh, hyung,” Yuchan is saying, somewhere over him. Donghun is too busy trying to rewind time or forget the vivid sense memory of Yuchan’s chapstick to respond.

He feels Yuchan’s arms wrap around his middle and tug him back towards sitting up again. Donghun lets himself be pulled but he still can’t uncover his face. He doesn’t want to see what must be pity from Yuchan right now.

Yuchan keeps his arms wrapped around him and shuffles closer, so his voice is close to Donghun’s ear as he mutters, “It’s okay.” He squeezes Donghun a few times too and the point of his chin digs into Donghun’s shoulder.

Donghun groans, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I like that.” Yuchan squeezes him again. “Or, well, I liked _that_,” he emphasizes carefully before his voice drops to a whisper, “And I also like that, you know, generally.” Donghun doesn’t answer, just leans his weight into Yuchan as he repeats, “So it’s okay.”

He recognizes Yuchan’s admission for what it is. The trust Yuchan has in him and the way Donghun very nearly fucked it all up.

Donghun has never really bothered to define himself, his hookups and relationships were so few and far between that he’s only ever thought of himself as flexible. He’d had that conversation once with Sehyoon, before their debut. Like most things, Sehyoon had been accepting and unfazed. And the times he’s hooked up with guys had been too fast and secret to say much more than, “You wanna do this?” So he’s out of practice with a talk like this.

“I’m sorry.” He pauses and pushes a hand through his face, finally uncovering his face. “I shouldn’t have done that.” He dares to dart his eyes over to Yuchan, who still has his chin perched on Donghun’s shoulder. He’s too close so Donghun just sees a blur of nose and hair and big eyes. “That’s not fair to you.”

“Yah, don’t be so dramatic. Junhee hyung’s dog has kissed me more.” Yuchan lets his arms go slack and turns away, grabbing his phone from the floor. Donghun runs his hand through his hair again and takes a few deep breaths. And then Yuchan mutters, “If you were gonna do it, you should have done it for real.”

Donghun turns his head to see Yuchan looking at him through his lashes, clearly waiting for Donghun’s reaction. It’s his making mischief face. 

“What?” Donghun sputters.

Yuchan shrugs and spins his phone through his fingers. “Just, if you’re gonna make such a big deal out of kissing me, you should probably actually do it.” He pouts down at his hands and looks up. There’s his defiant, mischievous face again, his slow blinks and wide eyes a direct challenge.

Donghun scoffs and says, “That makes no sense.” He’s turned to face Yuchan now, even though he knows he should disengage.

“Are you scared?”

“You can’t dare me to do it, I’m not twelve.”

Yuchan makes a face like Donghun’s missing the point and then wags his eyebrows. “Come on, hyung. It’s okay to kiss your friends sometimes. It’s good practice.” He licks his lips the way he does when he’s nervous. “You know how important practice is.”

Donghun wants to set the room on fire, so he just repeats, “Practice?”

“A wise hyung told me that,” Yuchan says, sitting up on his knees and leaning forward to bridge the gap between them.

Donghun leans back as Yuchan places a hand on his knee. “Which hyung taught you that? Byeongkwan?”

Yuchan shakes his head and leans closer. “Doesn’t matter.” His thumb rubs at the side of Donghun’s knee. “Don’t you want to kiss me, hyung?” 

And the thing is, Donghun is still reeling from the fact that he does want to kiss him. That his reflex to being overjoyed was to reach for Yuchan. So he isn’t prepared to lie, even though he absolutely should.

Instead, Donghun nods and closes his eyes and lets Yuchan kiss him.

It’s tentative at first, Yuchan still balanced on his knees and it takes a few tries to find angles where they don’t bump noses. But Donghun gets impatient and opens his mouth to bite at Yuchan’s lips. 

Yuchan, clearly emboldened, pushes Donghun flat to the floor and follows after him. He uses a hand to tilt Donghun’s head, holding him in place so Yuchan can deepen the kiss. Donghun feels like a teenager again, carpet rough through his clothes and Yuchan’s leg settling between his thighs. 

It’s been a while since Donghun has made out with anyone and he catches himself making a keening noise. He has to anchor himself with a hand in Yuchan’s hair and one on his hip, pulling him closer. He wants Yuchan to crack, just a little. But Yuchan seems content and assured, curling his tongue in Donghun’s mouth.

Practice my ass, Donghun thinks.

Donghun can’t tell how long they’ve been kissing when he hears their front door open and slam closed. He just knows his lips feel tender and his hands have migrated to Yuchan’s ass. He also knows what Yuchan’s dick feels like through his pants, much to his dread. Yuchan certainly now knows the same about him.

They separate, Yuchan sitting up. Donghun can’t summon the effort to sit up just yet. He’s still reeling. Then Yuchan has the nerve to wink at him and say, “Good practice, hyung,” before grabbing his phone and scurrying out of the room.

Donghun vows to himself right there on the floor to let nothing else happen after that. He can’t go around kissing his bandmate or letting his feelings get in the way of his focus for the comeback.

So of course it’s less than a week before they’re enjoying dinner and drinks and when they get home, Yuchan corners him in the entryway. He waits until the other members go to their rooms before leaning his hands on the wall on either side of Donghun.

“Hyung, what if we…” he trails off and tugs at Donghun’s shirt, frowning. “This shirt is a bad shirt.”

“It’s from a Choice. You can’t say that.” Donghun bats Yuchan’s hand away.

Yuchan pouts harder and creeps his hand under Donghun’s shirt, fingertips pressing into his skin. Donghun almost trips over a pair of shoes even though he’s standing still. Yuchan leans close and tugs on Donghun’s dangling earring with his teeth. It’s both unsettling and hot. “Hyung, let’s go practice.”

Donghun should say no. Fooling around with other members bad, focusing on comeback good. It should be a simple rule to follow. But Donghun isn’t used to telling Yuchan no. Yuchan had called this thing they’re doing “practice,” implying that some day there will be someone who means more than practice and it won’t be Donghun. The feeling knifes through him like a stitch in his side when he’s dehydrated.

But at least, Donghun tells himself, Yuchan trusts him now. Trusts him with this, trusts Donghun enough to almost have his hand in his pants in the hallway of their dorm. And maybe it’s selfish for Donghun to choose this over self-restraint but this Yuchan, driven and assertive, might make being selfish worth it.

Donghun grabs Yuchans hand and pulls them into the bathroom and this time it’s Donghun crowding Yuchan against the wall. He leans away to turn on the shower and Yuchan tugs him back, hand firm on his waist.

Yuchan looks eager, leaning close and Donghun moves his head to the side to kiss under Yuchan’s jaw. Yuchan’s hand moves up his back under his shirt. And when Yuchan’s other hand slips under the waistband of Donghun’s pants, he scrapes his teeth against Yuchan’s throat.

He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about this the last few days, but he’d never admit it out loud. And certainly not to Yuchan. But that doesn’t matter because Yuchan is palming his cock through his underwear. 

“Wasting no time, I guess,” Donghun mutters.

“You were the one wasting time, hyung.” Yuchan smirks and pulls his hand back out of Donghun’s pants, but it’s just to slide it into his underwear.

Donghun has to catch his breath. “Fuck.” He retaliates by pushing up Yuchan’s shirt enough to unbutton his pants and get his hand on Yuchan’s dick. Even if it’s been a while for Donghun, this isn’t something he could forget how to do. Yuchan’s already hard and that thrills Donghun more than he wants to admit.

He can’t help but look at Yuchan and the way he’s leaning back against the wall watching Donghun. It’s the way a cat watches a bird through a window. Predatory and hungry. Donghun can feel the yearning down through his toes. His orgasm sneaks up on him, distracted by knowing Yuchan wants him like this, tongue poking between his teeth in satisfaction as Donghun comes.

Donghun takes a moment to breathe and presses a rough kiss to the side of Yuchan’s neck before he sinks to his knees, tugging down Yuchan’s pants as he goes. He thinks about what he could do if he had more time and how he’d really like to torture Yuchan with a very thorough blowjob, but the other members are home and they’re pretending to be in the shower so Donghun has to go for fast instead. 

He licks up the shaft once, just to hear Yuchan try to hide a whimper before taking Yuchan’s dick in his mouth. He keeps stroking Yuchan while he sucks at the head and it doesn’t take long before Yuchan is shuddering and coming in Donghun’s mouth.

Donghun sits back on his knees and makes sure to make eye contact with Yuchan as he swallows, satisfied with Yuchan’s whispered, “Holy shit.”

They start to collect themselves and Yuchan sticks his hands in the shower to wash off his hands. “What are you gonna do, hyung?” He gestures at Donghun’s general disarray. He wants to point his finger at Yuchan and tell him, you did this.

“I’ll just actually shower,” Donghun says instead and Yuchan nods before sneaking a peek through a crack in the bathroom door, making sure the hallway is clear. Donghun spends too long in the shower, staring at the tile and contemplating his life. Sehyoon turns off the hot water on him and Donghun curses, shocked by the cold.

Donghun apologizes when he goes back to his room and finds Sehyoon lounging on his own bunk. “Oh, I didn’t want to shower,” Sehyoon says, “You were just taking forever.” He doesn’t even look up from his sketchbook so Donghun can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not. If he has any idea what was going on in the bathroom before. Donghun climbs up into his bunk and reads until Sehyoon gets up to turn out the lights.

They should stop taking these risks, he tells himself. So he spends the next few days doing his best to annoy Yucan every time they’re in a room together. If Yuchan’s annoyed with him, then there’s less of a chance they’ll slip up again. His go-to move is to poke Yuchan’s side and then when Yuchan pokes him back, act like he’s been gravely wounded. It works most of the time, making Yuchan complain and pout at him.

But that isn’t enough, really, so Donghun alternates between ignoring Yuchan and smothering him. He hangs off his leg or his waist while Yuchan grumbles and gets up and walks away when Yuchan tries to smother him back. It accidentally turns into a game, seeing who can surprise the other the most with a leaping attack as they leave the recording booth or walk into the hallway.

Earlier that morning, Yuchan had tackled Donghun as soon as he stepped down from his bunk and Donghun has been waiting patiently to get his revenge. The dorm is quiet, Sehyoon’s out with friends and Junhee and Byeongkwan had gone shopping while Yuchan is half asleep on the couch watching a movie.

It’s the perfect time to strike. 

Donghun pads quietly out into the hallway, careful to go slow and carry an open book in front of him, like he’s blearily wandering out of his room for coffee. He doesn’t want to startle Yuchan or make him suspicious.

Yuchan doesn’t stir as Donghun gets close enough to dive over the arm of the couch, landing in Yuchan’s lap with a thud, book fluttering to the floor. Yuchan screeches, startled awake and he almost throws Donghun off of him but Donghun wraps his arms around Yuchan’s waist to keep from falling.

“Hyung!” Yuchan yells, gasping to catch his breath. Donghun laughs and clings tighter while Yuchan pries at the hold on his arms. “What the fuck, you win.” Yuchan yields and goes limp, an arm coming up to cover his eyes. Donghun is pretty sure he can hear Yuchan’s heart racing, but maybe that’s his own.

He digs the point of his chin into Yuchan’s chest until Yuchan yelps and uncovers his eyes to glare at Donghun. Donghun returns it with a grin and then relents, shifting to slide in next to Yuchan on the couch. He keeps one arm slung across Yuchan’s waist.

“The movie must not have been that good, huh?” Donghun asks, looking over at the tv.

Yuchan muffles a yawn as he nods. Then he shuffles and gets his arm around Donghun’s shoulders. It’s more comfortable like this, much more like two people sharing space on a couch. “I think that guy’s an undercover cop and he’s about to get caught,” Yuchan says. He fidgets with the neckline of Donghun’s shirt. _That_ shirt. The sounds of explosions and cars and gunshots play from the tv.

He likes this, Donghun thinks, and then immediately regrets it. He shouldn’t want things he can’t have. It’s a distraction from work and he can’t be distracted when this comeback is so important.

But. Donghun has begun to notice that Yuchan’s very existence is a distraction.

“You wanna?” Yuchan is asking and he waggles his eyebrows in an increasingly complex manner when Donghun doesn’t answer.

“Hmm?” Donghun is distracted by Yuchan stroking his neck instead of his t-shirt. He blinks at Yuchan, who just rolls his eyes and leans in to kiss Donghun’s neck. There’s teeth then tongue, then teeth again and the sting of Yuchan’s fingernails that makes Donghun hiss. “Oh.”

Yuchan stops to lean back and look at Donghun. “Yes, ‘oh.’ Thank you, hyung. Welcome back to reality. Did you wanna do this?” He tugs at the back of Donghun’s shirt for emphasis.

Donghun waits even though he’s already made up his mind. He kneads Yuchan’s side twice before moving his hand to slide it under Yuchan’s shirt. Yuchan’s already smiling like the smug brat that he is when Donghun says, “Yes.”

They don’t even bother to get naked, they just throw their shirts on the floor and push their sweats to their thighs as Donghun straddles Yuchan. It shouldn’t be enough to make them come and Donghun has intentions for more, but he gets wrapped up in sucking marks on Yuchan’s chest while Yuchan clutches at his hair. Donghun just likes the way Yuchan sounds, breathless and a little whiny when he uses his teeth. 

He doesn’t intend to come first but he does, shuddering while Yuchan scrapes a line across his back. So he rebalances himself on his knees and swipes a hand through the come on Yuchan’s stomach, wraps it around Yuchan’s dick and let’s Yuchan fuck into his fist until he comes, muttering, “Fuck, fuck fuck,” under his breath.

It’s quiet for a few moments, the movie having already ended and played through the credits. Just them. Flushed and very nearly gratified. Though Donghun bites his lip to keep himself from kissing Yuchan.

“Oh my god, this was so stupid,” Yuchan says through the fingers he has covering his mouth. He looks at the mess of come on his stomach. He giggles and Donghun can’t help but laugh too. He tries to forget what he wanted to do a second ago. “We could have made the biggest mess.” It makes Donghun snort and Yuchan smacks his arm. Out of habit, Donghun whimpers like it hurt. “I don’t know how to clean a couch, stop laughing, hyung. This is your fault, take responsibility.”

“Pretty sure this was both of our faults,” Donghun says as he thinks about how to get up without getting tangled up in his own clothes or staining the couch. He grabs the closest piece of clothing he can find on the floor and uses it to clean them up a little. 

“Hyung, no, my shirt,” Yuchan whines and that’s when Donghun realizes which shirt he picked up. It’s _that_ shirt, not the one Yuchan was actually wearing. 

He looks at Yuchan in surprise and says, “Oh fuck,” before he collects himself and drops the now dirty shirt on Yuchan’s chest. “Since it’s your shirt, you can do the laundry.” 

Yuchan groans as Donghun gets up and gets himself together enough to head to the bathroom to shower. Yuchan’s yelling after him but Donghun ignores it.

Later, when Junhee and Byeongkwan come home after shopping, he and Yuchan are relaxed on the couch and watching a movie, laundry running in the background. They don’t seem suspicious and Donghun can see Yuchan relax out of the corner of his eye.

Donghun thinks that maybe they should slow down, especially with their days getting longer and alone time getting shorter. But another week passes quietly and well.

Yuchan has never been an early riser and he’s still asleep when Byeongkwan shuffles past Donghun into the kitchen. They don’t have to go practice until later in the afternoon, there could be a few more hours of quiet if he wanted. There’s going to be less of that as the comeback gets closer. 

But instead, Donghun slides into Yuchan’s dark room and drapes himself over Yuchan’s pointy shoulders. 

Yuchan grumbles, face smushed into his pillow.

Donghun shakes him, but also doesn’t move to let him up.

“Time to leave?” Yuchan asks into the pillow.

“No, we have some time.” Donghun tries to flatten himself against Yuchan’s back even more. He pushes up on his toes and leans his weight onto his arms.

Yuchan hisses and wiggles under Donghun. “Gonna leave me alone?”

Donghun laughs as he feels Yuchan flex and try to lift his back under Donghun’s weight. “No, hyung won’t.”

Yuchan sighs and flops flat again. “‘M gonna shower,” he says as he tries to scrub at his face. Donghun laughs at the blurry, half-asleep look on Yuchan’s face and finally lets himself be rolled to the side as Yuchan clambers out of the bed.

He goes to shower and Donghun should leave. There’s no reason for him to wait and scroll through his phone in the dark, but he does. Yuchan’s bed is more comfortable than the couch, he tells himself.

Yuchan flips the light on when he comes back from his shower and Donghun drops his phone to roll over towards the door. Yuchan’s just in a towel, ruffling his hair while he peers at his clothes. He’s still a little damp, water drops clinging along the line of his spine. Donghun lets himself stare. He’s seen Yuchan like this lots of times before, but it’s been a while since he’s really looked. 

There’s more lean muscle than there used to be, Donghun thinks, and maybe a few centimeters taller. But the way Yuchan carries himself is still the same, still barely contained energy ready to burst out at the slightest provocation. It’s comforting to think that all those months away - even if he wasn’t really gone - didn’t change him completely. That this is still _his_ Yuchan. 

It’s one thing to have felt it - in the way Yuchan melted back into the group like he had never left and in the way he’s felt Yuchan’s body pressed against his these last few weeks - but it’s another to have it standing in front of him, wet, in a towel and asking if Donghun likes the blue shirt or red shirt better.

“Chan-ah,” Donghun interrupts, “come here.” 

Yuchan has the audacity to look perplexed, shirts hanging from one hand. Donghun hadn’t planned on spending today’s down time like this but he’s made up his mind now. He wants Yuchan like this, damp and shower fresh, spread out under him. He pats the space next to him on the bed. Yuchan finally seems to understand, leaving the shirts and walking over to the bed. He huffs out a soft, “Hyung?” and peers at Donghun through his eyelashes, hands on his hips.

Donghun feels like a coward for breaking eye contact so he reaches out to touch the skin at the edge of Yuchan’s towel. He remembers how he’d touched the same place just a few days ago on the couch. Had it really been a week? He hooks a finger under the towel but doesn’t pull. He takes a deep breath, looks back up at Yuchan and waits.

“I’ll need to shower again,” Yuchan says, somehow able to whine without actually complaining. 

Donghun shrugs and says, “Well if it’s such a chore...” He begins to pull his hand away but Yuchan grabs him by the wrist.

“Didn’t say that.” Yuchan leans and pushes, pinning Donghun’s arm to the bed above his head. He moves to climb over Donghun, towel falling away and looking entirely too smug. Donghun waits for him to settle his weight on his knees before using his free arm and his legs to twist Yuchan to the side.

He hits the mattress with a thump and a squawk, letting go of Donghun’s wrist. They jostle each other, Yuchan smacking and shoving at Donghun’s arms as he tries not to laugh. The scuffle is quick and ends when Donghun manages to perch himself on Yuchan’s thighs. 

Donghun sits up, triumphant, and says, “Put on some music,” as he pulls off his sweater, leaving him in just his t-shirt and sweats. 

Yuchan fumbles for his phone while Donghun slips between the circle of his arms and mouths at his neck. He doesn’t normally want to mark up the person he’s hooking up with but something about Yuchan makes him eager to do it, sucking under the angle of Yuchan’s jaw while Yuchan huffs in frustration.

Finally music begins to play through the bluetooth speaker across the room and Donghun hears Yuchan’s phone fall to the bed. He slides his mouth lower, following tendons to where they meet bone, Yuchan’s chest rising and falling under his lips. Yuchan must get impatient because there’s a hand on Donghun’s shoulder pushing him lower.

Donghun looks up at Yuchan as he lets himself be pushed. Yuchan’s tucking his other arm behind his head and biting his bottom lip between his teeth as Donghun settles his shoulders between Yuchan’s thighs. It’s clear on his face what Yuchan wants and the look is so similar to his on-camera smoulder that Donghun can’t help but grin. He relishes having that look pointed in his direction.

Donghun feels a greed well up within him, strong enough that he bites down on the soft skin of Yuchan’s abdomen. He can feel Yuchan’s shaking exhale through his teeth. It’s the same kind of craving that overwhelms him when he performs. There could be more eyes on him, they could have more broadcast time, more albums to sell, more streams, more perfect notes, more perfect dances, the churn of more in his stomach, of never being satisfied.

He wants more from Yuchan and Donghun knows he can’t have it. That he might have Yuchan’s pliable body literally clenched under his fingertips but that it’s fleeting. This is just one of those moments of weakness where Donghun allows his greed to win. 

The dick in his mouth is firm and he sucks at the head. He keeps his pace slow, he doesn’t want to rush things, not when they have time and privacy. Long, deep slides of his mouth that he knows makes Yuchan stutter. Donghun can hear his breath catch even through the background noise of the music. He savors the hand clenched in his hair and the twitching of Yuchan’s thighs. He’ll take whatever Yuchan will give him, even if Donghun knows it won’t be enough to sate his appetite.

When he’s deep, he swallows and knows he’s being reckless with his throat and his voice, but everything they’ve been doing is reckless anyway. It makes Yuchan whine and Donghun takes a breath and goes for it again. He’s rewarded with a whispered, “Hyung,” this time. He regrets keeping his clothes on and considers the repercussions of just coming like this with his hips pressed against the bed anyway.

He wants to go for it a third time but Yuchan is pushing at his shoulder and Donghun pulls off of his cock.

“Not yet,” Yuchan mutters, now pulling at Donghun’s arms to move him back up to be level with Yuchan’s face. “I didn’t want to just…” Yuchan shakes his head and licks his lips, like he needs to find the words in his mouth. Donghun wipes at his own face, sure that he looks like a mess. Yuchan doesn’t finish the sentence, just hoists Donghun by the hips until he’s straddling Yuchan again. He has one hand anchored just under Donghun’s ass and the other is skimming over Donghun’s very obvious erection through his sweatpants.

Donghun rolls his hips into the touch and he’d be content to finish just like this but Yuchan starts to speak again. “Hyung, I want to-” Yuchan cuts himself off but Donghun can tell by the way his hand grips high on Donghun’s thigh what he’s asking. His long fingers edge up towards Donghun’s ass.

Donghun plants a hand next to Yuchan’s head and leans down. “Are you sure?” Yuchan nods and doesn’t look away, so Donghun says, “Okay,” and lets Yuchan push him backwards until he’s the one laying down on the bed.

Their faces are close and Donghun nearly breaks and kisses him. They haven’t kissed since that first time, but Donghun can’t stop thinking about it. It’s the last barrier he can hold himself to, the one thing that keeps the greed within him contained.

So he pushes Yuchan back instead, giving Donghun the space to take off his shirt. He tosses it to the side and shuffles off his sweats and underwear while Yuchan is reaching for something tucked away under the bed. Donghun gets distracted watching the muscles in his arms bend and flex. They’re definitely more defined than they used to be. Did Donghun just not notice him working out more?

Yuchan straightens up and drops something on the bed next to them. A condom and lube, Donghun realizes. Which means that Yuchan has thought about this. Prepared for this exact situation.

Donghun has purposely been avoiding thinking about this moment and didn’t want to think it would happen. He has not stocked his bedroom or updated his sexy playlist in at least a year. If he had, then this wouldn’t be a whim that overtakes him sometimes. This would be more than friends helping each other deal with stress. More than practice.

Planning would mean anticipation. Planning would mean wanting it to happen and Donghun has been trying so hard not to want things from Yuchan.

But Yuchan’s the one wanting here, pushing Donghun back against the bed again and his now slick fingers finding their way between Donghun’s thighs. He even asks if Donghun’s ready and skims his lips over Donghun’s chest as he presses inside.

Donghun clasps his hands together over his head, holding himself down against the pillow to keep himself from reaching out. He wants Yuchan to go faster. He wants Yuchan to kiss him. He wants too much and Donghun can’t handle the intimacy, the quiet care Yuchan is taking with his body, so he blurts out the first thing in his head. “Come here often?”

Yuhcan’s head snaps up in confusion, nose crinkled. “What does that even-” Donghun feels ridiculous but he doesn’t try to justify himself. He just shrugs, relishing the way Yuchan looks even more bothered and the way he pumps his finger a little harder. “Shut up, hyung.”

“Do it well enough and I just might.”

Yuchan groans and shakes his head and leans down to bite at Donghun’s neck in retaliation. And Donghun laughs at how easily he can poke at Yuchan’s competitive side, even as another finger pushes inside of him.

But that backfires immediately as Yuchan focuses in on Donghun’s reactions, eyes darting between Donghun’s face and dick. Donghun’s never felt studied during sex before and Yuchan’s undividied attention is potent. He can start to feel the sweat under the hair at his temples.

“Fuck,” he hisses as Yuchan slows the drag of his fingers. Donghun wants everything to be happening faster, to let his brain white out with pleasure so he can’t focus on the way Yuchan feels on top of him. Inside of him. 

Instead, Yuchan teases him with a well-timed curl of his fingers that has Donghun grabbing at his shoulders. “Hmm, is this you shutting up, hyung?”

Donghun wants to call him a brat but he can’t force out the words, so he smacks Yuchan’s arm instead. Yuchan’s laugh is triumphant and it only makes Donghun’s dick harder. He manages to endure another minute of Yuchan’s fingers before Donghun caves and tells Yuchan he’s ready.

They go slow, at first. It’s been a long time since Donghun has gotten fucked. He remembers this feeling but his body doesn’t. The feeling like he’s melting from the inside out, like his bones might be disintegrating. It takes a few minutes for Donghun to feel like he can handle more. Yuchan’s patient, waiting and he speeds up when Donghun tugs at the hair at the nape of his neck and tells him, “Come on.”

Yuchan’s hips stutter, searching for a new rhythm. Donghun tries to chase away the thought of how often Yuchan has done this, if he’s ever-- and Donghun has to squeeze his eyes shut or he’ll let out an embarrassing noise. He can’t think about Yuchan’s likely virginity or his own role in the peeling away of Yuchan’s layers of nerves and inexperience.

Yuchan grabs at his right knee, pulling Donghun’s leg up and bending it towards his chest. Yuchan shifts on his knees, face pinched in concentration until he finds his balance and settles into a steady pace with his hips. He keeps looking up at Donghun’s face and Donghun knows this because he can’t look away. 

He distracts himself by running his hands over Yuchan’s chest and down his torso, feeling the muscle control Donghun already knows he has. He pulls at Yuchan’s slim waist and slides down to grab a handful of his ass because he can.

Yuchan tuts under his breath and shifts his grip on the back of Donghun’s knee. It changes the angle of his hips just enough that the next thrust makes Donghun gasp for breath. 

“That good, hyung?” There’s a smirk curling Yuchan’s lips. Infuriating.

Donghun wants to laugh, wants to pretend that he’s unaffected and to make Yuchan work for his praise. But he can’t do that when the feeling of Yuchan inside of him _is_ good, when he wants to spend every afternoon like this. 

“Chan-ah,” he starts but he can’t get the second syllable out because Yuchan is bending down to kiss him. He groans into Yuchan’s mouth and feels the greed well up inside of him again. He tells himself the self-restraint has been fucked out of him and that’s why he has to press his tongue into Yuchan’s mouth and scrape his teeth over his lips. Donghun’s fingers dig into the skin of Yuchan’s back, holding him steady while Yuchan thrusts, short and heavy against Donghun’s hips. 

Yuchan comes like that, shivering and pressed tight to the curve he’s made of Donghun’s body, tongue in his mouth. When he stills, Yuchan doesn’t even try to pull away or catch his breath. He keeps kissing Donghun as he drops his leg, shifting his weight so he can get his sweaty hand around Donghun’s cock. 

He strokes Donghun fast while still slowly rolling his hips, not pulling away. It makes Donghun shiver and he thinks there might be tears in his eyes. He can’t open them to tell. He’s so close, he feels like he might shatter into pieces. “C’mon, hyung, come on my dick,” Yuchan whispers against his mouth. “Need you to, thought about it so much.”

Donghun breaks at that, coming with his eyes squeezed shut and Yuchan biting at his lips again. 

When Donghun comes back to himself, Yuchan’s head is resting on his chest, breath as ragged as Donghun feels. He ruffles his hand through Yuchan’s hair, soft and messy from the haphazard way it dried.

When Yuchan finally looks up at him, it’s one of his half smiles, eyes too big to be confident. It screams, _you’re proud of me, right?_

Donghun feels like a shucked oyster, pried away from his shell with only the soft and gooey parts of him left here in this bed. Defenseless. He keeps petting Yuchan’s hair until Yuchan hums and rubs his face into Donghun’s chest again.

The clean up is rushed but Donghun allows himself one more long, full kiss, Yuchan’s jaw cupped in his palm, before they sneak off to take separate showers and what is supposed to be a normal rest of the day.

Donghun thinks he can pretend to be normal.

Except. He doesn’t know what to do, after. He wants to attach himself to Yuchan’s waist. Cover his face in a flurry of kisses when he pouts. Annoy him when he’s being quiet. Annoy him when he’s being loud. So he does everything but the second and even then he comes close a couple of times. 

He can’t tell how Yuchan feels about it because they stop being able to spend any time alone. The comeback prep ramps up for real with photoshoots and vocal recordings, choreography and the mv to shoot. Any down time they have is spent resting or stretching or in Byeongkwan’s case, both.

When Donghun gets his eyebrow pierced, Yuchan is the first to reply to his selca in the group chat. It’s a string of stickers and a, _wah, hyung is so cool_, immediately followed by a series of questions. If it hurt, if the needle was big, if it’s swollen yet, if Donghun thinks Yuchan would look cool with one.

When Yuchan sends a selca of his freshly dyed red hair, Donghun doesn’t respond at all. But he does save the picture to his phone.

Every time Yuchan talks about going to practice choreo or practice vocals, Donghun has to concentrate very hard to anchor his thoughts. If he doesn’t, he’ll lose focus for a moment and the conversation will have moved on while Donghun’s still adrift in his horny confusion.

And then promotions start and they have even less time. Donghun twice falls asleep in Yuchan’s bed, but he’s alone when he falls asleep and when he wakes up, it’s four in the morning and they have to leave again to go to the salon to get ready for a music show.

Donghun tells himself that it’s fine things are back to normal. The grind of promotions is rough but fulfilling and getting to see their fans after so long feels great. But he’s also constantly second guessing himself around Yuchan. Donghun still drapes himself over him as much as possible, teases him, buys him snacks and pokes him when he’s least expecting it. And then he spends time with his earbuds in wondering if it was too much or too little. It isn’t very relaxing.

Promotions roll right into concert prep and Donghun’s nightly vulnerability spiral consists of writing messages like _wanna practice tomorrow?_ and _i miss touching you_ and _let me buy you coffee every day_ and _i already love you, so what’s the harm in trying this for real_ and then deleting them before he can press send.

It feels like the next time Donghun has a moment to breathe, it’s when they’re on the plane to Canada. He knows he has to talk to Yuchan, he just doesn’t know what to say. What to ask for. Because he should ask to end this so he can wallow in his feelings and move on. But he also wants to kiss Yuchan again.

He plans to talk to Yuchan on their day off doing touristy things around Toronto but the winery gets to him first. He’s not drunk, but he’s maybe a little tipsy, helping Sehyoon balance on the railing overlooking the orchard to take some pictures. He feels looser, freer.

So Donghun doesn’t hesitate to yell for Yuchan when he sees him. He’s gonna talk to him, for sure this time. “Kang Yuchan!” he calls, drawing out each syllable. He waits for Yuchan to look his way before waving him over, not stopping until Yuchan is close enough to catch in a hug.

Donghun can feel himself clinging on to Yuchan’s shoulders, the bony angles poking into his palms. He wonders frantically, _is he skinnier than before? Is he eating enough_, and it comes out of his mouth as, “Yah, don’t be pointy.”

Yuchan laughs and sighs and starts to say, “Hyung, what does that even-” but Donghun interrupts him, squeezing tighter.

“Hyung is happy you’re home.”

Yuchan squeezes him back and Donghun feels his laughter against his chest. “We’re in Canada.” 

Donghun grumbles and tucks his face into Yuchan’s neck and it feels both familiar and strange, being pressed this close. It’s not what he meant to say, but he does mean it.

“I’ve been home for months,” Yuchan says, softer, chin bumping the side of Donghun’s head.

“I know. Don’t tease me for being late.”

Yuchan begins to rub his back. “I’d never tease you,” he says, lying. He sighs, long and slow. Donghun likes feeling the rise and fall of his chest from this close. “I can’t believe I have to be the mature one.”

“What?” Donghun asks, indignant. He pulls back to look at Yuchan.

“This whole thing you’re doing where you’re freaking out about us and doing a very bad job at not showing it.”

“I’m not-” Donghun starts and then stops, thinking about all the time he spent brooding with his earbuds in during promotions. And how he alternated that with being as all over Yuchan as possible. 

Yuchan’s voice is even softer now. “You know that if you don’t want to do this anymore that it’s fine with me and we’ll be okay, right?”

Donghun feels the disappointment sweep over him. “If that’s what you want.”

Yuchan groans, stamps his foot and backs away from Donghun to grab him by the shoulders. “That’s not what I said, hyung.” He’s earnest, those big eyes impossible to ignore. “What do you want?”

As if Donghun hasn’t been asking himself that question for months now. Since he first kissed Yuchan, maybe a little before even. As if he hasn’t found the answer terrifying. He doesn’t want to see Yuchan’s reaction. He wants to cover his eyes or turn around to do it. Maybe Yuchan was right about being more mature.

But Yuchan is asking and Donghun is very bad at saying no. “I don’t want to practice any more.” It’s hard to keep going, watching the minute expressions on Yuchan’s face. “I want that, but for real.”

Joy explodes on Yuchan’s face and he even shrieks a little before covering his mouth to muffle the sound. He’s bouncing on the balls of his feet as he leans in to smack a kiss on Donghun’s cheek. “Good, that’s great. Fantastic,” Yuchan says, laughing and grabbing Donghun to twist him around into a tight back hug. He squeezes Donghun tight before letting go again. “Okay, okay, I have to go do a thing.”

And then he runs off, leaving Donghun feeling like he’d just been caught in a small, wiry typhoon. He's not sure how to feel just yet, having done the big scary thing and Yuchan having just run away. He didn't seem mad though. Donghun tries his best to enjoy the scenery even though all he can think about is Yuchan. Who comes sprinting back about fifteen minutes later, when they’re gathering up to take more pictures.

Yuchan slots into the spot next to Donghun and leans over to whisper, “I’m not saying that you _have_ to come to my room tonight because I’ve exchanged a complicated series of favors that gets us the room to ourselves, but that you _can_. If you want.”

Donghun isn’t that tipsy anymore but he still feels lightheaded. He giggles and looks over to see that Yuchan looks mischievous. Donghun knocks his shoulder into him and hooks his pinky into the pocket of his pants. He just wants to keep Yuchan close for right now.

Later, they go to see Niagara Falls. It’s even bigger than Donghun was expecting and it’s almost intimidating. But it feels good, visiting a new place, having a concert and his friends with him for all of it. He’s happy, so he reaches for Yuchan.

**Author's Note:**

> (Who knows their true dorm layout, I made a decision and stuck with it. Their roommate situation is a mystery and my research only made me more confused.)


End file.
